Your eyes.

Your eyes. Don’t even get me started. I could stare forever in those hazel eyes of yours. When we look into each others’ eyes, I feel like everything bad happening in my life has sizzled away. Your eyes wash away my fears, my pessimism, my self-doubt. You make me feel on top of the world. You make me feel like everything is okay.

Your smile. Not just your typical big smile, but your half-smile. The grin you display in the selfies you send to me. The smile that displays the two dimples nestled perfectly on your cheeks. The one where you can see your smile lines aligned right around your mouth, almost touching those dimples. The one that is worth a thousand stars.

Your heartbeat. The heartbeat that pounces so fiercely, yet is so calming. When I huddle into your chest, all I can hear are those soft, yet powerful flutters. How could a heart like yours, so perfect and beautiful sounding, have ever have been dysfunctional. I could listen to it all day.

Your hands. Those big hands that engulf my small little ones when they interlace. The ones that sit perfectly with mine after they somehow dance to each other after those playful tickle fights of ours. The ones that hold mine and make me feel stronger, and more connected. The ones that make me feel safe.

And for a moment every time when we’re alone I think to myself ‘can this be it‘. But then all the excitement and hopefulness washes away and I’m sitting back at square one, somehow knowing that we can never be.